Yeah, pippa comes with me to see psych now because she knows how I struggle to talk, so she says anything I can't which helps a lot. I saw them both today, pippa seemed to understand exactly, the psych not so much but hey I'm half way there. She knew hoe to put the feelings into words that I didn't no how, like a bottle that's been shaken up and needs to fizz out but the lid is still on -- that was exactly how I sometimes feel! I don't see her for 3 weeks now though because she's having time off and then I don't see psych for 6 weeks -- I've never been so long not seeing anybody! She says she'll ring me though so I can speak if I wanted to. They've not changed my meds or anything even though pippa said the way they have made me isn't "ideal" I'm staying on this a while longer because psych seems to think that it's normal to feel extreme moods, like I said he didn't understand - he seemed to think that what I'm thinking is an extreme mood is just happy, but I havnt been happy in so long that I'm not used to it. But I HAVE had happy times, I know what it feels like to be happy -.- made me feel a bit stupid but I no it wasn't just a good mood, what kind of good mood makes kendo stupid things and makes me feel all ahhh!??
I also have no privacy, as my dad walked in my room when I was sat with my window open sat on the window sill with my legs hanging out -- he's locked my window now!! I didn't do it because he walked in, but I felt like I needed to run away, I convinced myself I could jump onto the lower roof and then to the floor without getting hurt (I know that's a crazy idea now but at the time it didn't seem like it could possibly go wrong...) I don't no why I did it now because it's just freaked my parents put because of COURSE dad had to tell mum and turn it into an unnecessary big deal. Now they're not letting me be on my own longer than like half an hour without making me come downstairs, they're making my life even more hell! Ahh!
Hope it all goes well when you see cpn and psych!! xx