Wow, time0 - this was really good insight. Thank you

I was especially struck by this one sentence: "Do not get mixed up between love and pity because if you do, you will lose."

You're absolutely right about that. 100% right.

What is it about guys and driving, anyway? It's appearing to be more common than I realize. The way you described your husband is EXACTLY what I go through with mine, and what I went through with my ex-husband (who was far more passive-aggressive.)

About why my husband didn't fix the latch? I don't get it either. That's why I acted surprised -- as I said, I don't care if I make (or he makes) mistakes, as long as the progress continues. I think he made a mistake and froze. That's how he reacts. In fact, I'm wondering if that's why the yard work episode ended, not to be continued over the following days off. He spent the rest of his time reading magazines, sleeping on the couch, riding his bike, and watching the olympics. Drives me nuts, but again, it's better than having him be depressed. I don't dare say anything anymore, even though I continue to be frustrated about being the main breadwinner, financial manager, housekeeper, cook, and health/social organizer.