Lava, I think you're doing the right thing setting solid boundaries. At some point, it becomes clear that the only kind of relationship an abusive parent wants is, well, an abusive one. Your father trying to go through your brother like that is messed up, but not unexpected -- my relationship with my own brother has deteriorated in no small part due to these tactics.
Stand your ground. 57 years is far more than enough.
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"As for others and the world around him he never ceased in his heroic and earnest endeavor to love them, to be just to them, to do them no harm, for the love of his neighbor was as deeply in him as the hatred of himself, and so his whole life was an example that love of one's neighbor is not possible without love of oneself, and that self-hate is really the same thing as sheer egoism, and in the long run breeds the same cruel isolation and despair." -- Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf
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