adorningxwounds

It is wonderful that you are recognizing your partner's discomfort with sex & are looking for ways to help them through. Kudos!

Getting through the memories and accepting sexual desires, without bringing on guilt and self-hate isn't an easy road. I struggled with that for many years myself. I think that what I really needed was acceptance from others. People automatically tell victims that they aren't to blame, which always made me resist every word they said from there. I needed people to acknowledge my feelings of self-hate and self-blame before I could move on in therapy.

After many years, with many different T's, my latest T accepts my thoughts and feelings. That helped me a lot! While he doesn't agree with how I feel about myself, he accepts that I feel that way about myself. And that's huge! My bf also accepts my low self-image. Just last week, I told him that I can't be complimented 20 times a day. Because I automatically resist. I cannot accept it. He may think that I'm beautiful...but stick with telling me maybe once a day. That's plenty.

Your partner may have similar feelings with compliments too. You can always ask. But be prepared to hear the answer ~ people are often amazed to hear what I think and feel about myself. It helps me to be honest, rather than holding those deep, dark thoughts inside my own mind. Because it is then amplified.

Best wishes to you both!