I wish i could stop feeling so sad for this - but this might be a predicted failure of something that was SUPPOSED to fail!
To fix a bad opinion of a dear person about me! This dear person had been used by me to get to a goal - which i gave up in the end. So now...is this a failure to deconstruct everything i made that period in my life??

He said that it is hard ot acceptg and love me as i am - but THE TRUTH is he doesn`t know me the way i am. So he cannot be 100% objective here. And i feel his rejection in away. Even thought he has this education and experience that make him aware, supposely more than me....yet IS THAT TRUE???

I have secrets from him...I feel like now he may not be aware that he wants to avange...and this emoitonal abuse supposed to be healing!

Its hard to accept you and love you after all you have done.
She was right you`re just a little girl...
Its hard to take you seriously.
People outside this office treat you more bluntly and you see it - example - you were thrown out of work. I am NICE (This one he sadi twice)
You are like those who are living on the streets smoke joint and think of phylosophy of life - you do nohting with yourself in your life.

It looks like he mihgt be enjoying that. He told me that this is my - that i was right....****! So all my instincts were RIGHT when i stopped it.

They why on earth this perosn could not be HONEST WITH HIMSELF ENOUGH to see that he does not want me back??!!
He doesn`t do me a favour. He is no saint or victim. We don`t have to do this. I

I wish I would never develope those feelings for him. He doesn`t know SO MANY things! When will this end....
Part of the things i did FOR HIM...he doesn`t know it....