i have been seeing t weekly and that is totally different for me. i usually go when i feel depressed. t said it would be better for me to come weekly for awhile till things improve

(i posted that awhile ago he got rid of the rug i have been staring at for over ten years. and it really upset me).

so last night i told him that he should have cut me out a square or at least taken a picture of it

then t was talking that i need to bring in my journal and so afraid. ex-H would read the old one and then i would be in trouble for whatever i had wrote that he read.

so we made an agreement of sorts.

he is going to bring me a picture of the rug and i am going to bring my journal. what have i gotten myself into???

i am going to trust and believe that he will do this. i had to call and remind him last night so he could write it down. (he asked me too) i go again a week from Monday and if he has the picture i will share my journal. i really want that pix but sharing my journal is soooo scary to think about.

going weekly is helping. i resisted at first thinking only the worst... but this damn weekly thing is breaking down my defenses again. not sure i like being so vulnerable.....