I feel like I go back and forth with my T...either our sessions are really productive and good, or not very productive at all...

For example, last week was a really good, productive session, and this week we spent the first half more chit chatting than really focusing on problems. I mean, the chit chatting was about stuff like my disdain toward my grandmother and issues in high school...but it wasn't about the pertinent problems. After that we touched on some of the pertinent stuff...like my hatred of my new job, my downward spiral into depression...actually, we spent a fair amount of time on that...she actually told me that she was worried about it because I seemed a lot more depressed than last week, and because I told her how I didn't shower over the weekend, and how a daily shower has left my routine (and that's a big deal because I'm a huge shower/hygiene person) and how my eating has gone all wonky etc. I told her that I just have no motivation, and I just don't care, and it doesn't help that I hate my meds/don't think they're working all that well...

Does anyone else feel like this?

Sometimes I feel like T is so good, and sometimes it just seems like a complete waste of time...but I know that I need it...my life without T wouldn't look half as good as it does with it. I just wish I knew how to make my sessions more in depth and better balanced. It's not that I don't like the chatting at the beginning, but there's a point when it's not appropriate because there are other things to get to...ya know?

I hope I'm not just rambling...it's been a rough day (week, month, and year, actually)...and I'm tired and ready for bed.