the legal system already bhas more than enough impact on my health issues as does the insurance industry. i don't want any more control...how many times i can see my doctor, how long a session, pre approval, etc. i don't need them telling me i can not or must not get attached to my therapist..nor do i need them putting their big fist on my doctor.

i am not a medical doctor. i do not have the training or knowledge. i have to trust their skill and yes power that they are treating me safely and in the right manner. risky yes.

BUT that said. i am not an auto mechanic. so i must put the same faith in the guy who works on my vehicle. his shoddy work could kill me. i have to believe that he has my best intrests at hand. period. if i have doubts then i must either ask him point blank or go find someone else to do the work. if i don't & i get hurt, then shame on me.

you got hurt. i realize that. for that i am sorry.

i got hurt badly by my parents...i can not sue them. (deceased)..i figure i have to make choices...i can live with the damage they did & wallow in it (for the lack of a better word) or strive to be better than they were & make improvements. i chose the later...if it involves therapy & taking chances then so be it. it hurts, it's hard..but it is so much better than the alternative.

i guess what i am trying to say...will this solve the pain you are feeling? maybe? will it fix the bullying you endured? you have asked so many questions, challenged everything & everyone...maybe therapy isn't for you...& that is ok...maybe you aren't at that place yet or haven't found the right person, what ever...maybe you just need to make some peace with yourself.

i got bullied big time..everyone all has issues...no one 's are worse than anyone;'s esle but i think there comes a point where you have to move on..i can either be "stumpy child abuse victim, ptsd terror victim" or i can just be stumpy...it's a choice. i only get to live once...i just don't want it to be a miserable time

oh so i guess i won't be joining you..
stumpy