Catherine, it's hard to see that we're changing and doing things that possibly might not be healthy for us. It's harder to know that it feels to difficult or impossible, to change it for the moment.
I know when triggered, or not feeling safe, I will stay home more. I call it a "scheduled meltdown". I do this to allow for some healing of whatever's going on with feelings of safety. However, I know it's not good to do for long either. I also know that it's something I'm intentionally doing. When I used to get panic attacks when I went out, the feelings were so intense, and it was a whole other ballgame for me. So, I can imagine how this feels for you right now. Does it feel like you're panicking when you go out?
How long has this been going on? If it's just started, I would try to push only as much as it felt safe to. If this has been going on for a while, and feelings seem more intense, I would consider trying to see someone. If there's a repetitive thought that you're having when going out, you might be able to calm the fears if you know the source.
I wish you more than well with this. It's difficult.
Be safe,
KD
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