why, Echoes? Because I have had the experience in the past of going to T to see how it is, trusting that I would not be hurt, and then spending 50 mins with Boot-Camp-T. I have left her office in tears, shaking, feeling chewed up and spit out. It is one thing to leave a session feeling that way because of my own emotions, and another to feel that way because of bearing the brunt of Ts emotions.

Just, basically, I am scared. I am in some ways stronger than I was a month or 2 ago, in some ways more able to cope, and in some ways I am not. I have been and continue to be in a state of crisis regarding my physical health, and that of course impacts my emotional health and my degree of emotional vulnerability.

I have an idea that if I could go there and talk about what is going on with ME and not about what is going on with US, I could probably get behind that. I just don't feel safe not knowing who or what I will face when I get there.

I wish you could go, too. I wish anyone could go. I would love to have a 3rd party present.

PS I misread what you wrote, Echoes. I thought you were saying you wish you could be there with me, lol. Now that I've read it correctly, I am curious about your reply and your use of the smiley. Is that the feeling you get from reading Ts message?