A lot of women start to have troubles when their children begin to grow up. When things aren't going well, it seems that many of us, women or not, have difficulty in all areas of our lives. This sounds like what's happening with your mom.
If I am having relationship troubles with my bf, it is practically impossible to enjoy sex with him at all. I think that's a very normal reaction that she's having there. The only thing that would help that was if she would talk to your father.
I think the more women age, the less they think they are attractive and desirable. That is mainly due, not only how they are treated by their mates, but also to how the media chooses to show mature people. They often show that the younger generations are more desirable than the older generations. I find this to be totally wrong. In my opinion, the more mature a woman becomes the more desirable she can be.
It must hurt terribly that no matter what you try to do to help your mom, she shoots you down and abuses you for it. Telling you to kill yourself is abusive, no way around that.
You have such strength and willpower. You should be commended for your efforts, IMO. The only thing I know to do is to reassure your mom that she is a beautiful woman and stand by her as her daughter and friend. Support her when she is down. It would be hard to do with your mom's comments but you sound like you'd do it no matter what she said to you.
I wish you the best of luck with this.
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"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey
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