You raise a good point, Pat, about the possibility of manipulation. I know that I felt very manipulated by my ex-husband. The alligator tears were a great distraction to cover up his gaffes. I don't believe my husband is manipulative, though. I resent that I can't react the way he does and get away with it (how childish does THAT sound) but I do believe that his heart is always in the right place. We don't actually talk about his d(x) much and I've never heard him use it as an excuse. Most of the justification comes from me after observing him over the past 6 years.

It's a great point - I'll give you that.