I honestly don't know why but losing pets upsets me worse than any other grief I've ever experienced.
I'm really sorry for your loss. I've had to have two very elderly pugs put to sleep in less than three years after they each totally ran out of anymore options to manage chronic health problems. I know I did the right thing but it still absolutely breaks my heart.
They say letting our companion pets go when all hope is gone is the ultimate reward we can give them - that's no doubt true but it's hard to say goodbye.
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Those we have held in our arms for a little while, we hold in our hearts forever.
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