Wow everyone has such good suggestions. I bought the book Loving someone..... It really opened my eyes to see that YES I do have BP. Since reading book I have been researching online every site possible to learn everything I can right now, joined support group (husband goes too), counselor to help me understand and learn new ways of thinking, behaviour etc., pdoc to stay on top of meds. I also suggest to be honest with your S/O and if they can be with you at any appointments it really helps. Some times I don't catch my actions and stuff and my husband shares with pdoc. Of course this will help improve our relationship as well. Mood chart is really helpful too and I keep a daily journal now when I can. I look back on it every once in awhile and do notice my mood changes. About feeling depressed I still do but my loving husband is always there to let me know he loves me not matter what. This guy is lucky to have you and he chose you. Just accept it and move forward with honesty and education to keep you more stable.