Hey - sounds like you have had a really tough time, but well done for sharing that on here. I have been seeing a T for about a year and although it is still really hard to talk about things, it has been so useful. I think T's / counsellors are used to seeing people who are finding life tough and are finding it difficult to talk about it.

I e-mailed my T when I first made contact and was asked to call to confirm that I wanted an appointment. It was so hard calling, but my T was so reassuring - I hope you can find a small part of you that can make contact with a counsellor. Let us know how you are doing.