I have raged with T on several occasions. Each time she let me completely have my say, and if she felt she was in the wrong somewhere she would apologize.
I inevitably end up saying, I shouldn't have said that, and she always always tells me, it is OK for you to say whatever you need to say. And she has never, never become punitive over it in the least. She says, I am glad that you told me; I needed to know.

That said, I must add that in time it began to become clear to me that my rages are NOT against her, even if I think I can make a list of why they are; they're really not. And little by little (very little by little) I am beginning to catch the anger before it spills over, and am able to ask myself, where is this really coming from? and a couple of times I have actually been able to trace back, and the anger has left. It may not seem like much but to me it is victory.

I am very grateful that my T is well adjusted enough to know that it's not really about her. So Chronic - tell T - with anger and hurt if you have it, without anger & hurt if they have subsided - you are going to learn so much from it. and your relationship with T will NOT be damaged. to you