One way to think of the Self is that it is the ego state or part that uses the first person. The others are third person. For example, when I say, "I went to the store today" or "I am upset" or "I am tired", it is my Self who is speaking. We have other ego states (or parts as the IFS model calls them) that we may think of in the third person. "This ego state is sad" or "this part wants you to give her a hug" or "she is..." or "he is...." But for your Self, you use "I." I have also heard the Self referred to as the "Executive." When my T and I did ego state therapy, we worked on my Self being able to comfort some of my other ego states. I liked this work and it gave me confidence I could manage my ego states and help us be whole. But my T did not say my Self had to do this work in order to qualify as my Self, he just suggested this comforting function was something I could learn to do for my ego states who needed that. (In my situation, I did not expect my T to fill my ego states' needs, so it's a little different.) Anyway, just think of who you refer to in the first person, and you will have found your Self. (Unless you have DID, where the executive self switches around as various alters take over.) Rainbow, I do not know what your T means about yoga and meditation building up your self, but it sounds interesting and worthwhile.