Quote:
Then I have free license to be mean and cruel to everyone.
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But they are not being mean and cruel. That is your (mis)perception, your (mis)interpretation. I would explore projection also.
Can you feel angry without needed to lash out?
This reminds me of unrequitted love. You weren't rejected. You responded honestly but you responded to your (mis)perception and (mis)interpretation.
Intimate relationships are not romantic or sexual, unless one interprets them that way.