I think Sunrise's post is right on the money. Creating a therapeutic environment that fits the individual client is definitely about finding the right distance and using the correct language. It's very possible, Protoform, that your T was too inviting and moved too close too soon. It might have triggered attachment needs in you that felt unfamiliar and intensely uncomfortable. I know that in my own therapy, my T had to go V E R Y slowly with how close she got to me emotionally. I would go to my session with a need to connect with her but if the session created feelings of vulnerablity and intimacy (not talking sexual intimacy but emotional intimacy) I would immediately feel a need to push her away and re-assert my independence. I am a person with disorganized attachment. We are all preconditioned to want connection but because of brain chemisty, genetics and early environment some of us have a harder time with attachment/connection. If the T moves too close, it triggers a stress response in some of us and we quickly become emotionally overwhelmed. Not a pleasant place to be by any means. I'm sorry the experience was so painful for you. I know that i've had to take breaks from therapy over the past two years and my T has always welcomed me back and adjusted her "distance" from me accordingly. It is truly a careful balancing act and the Therapist needs to be very well trained in her ability to gauge what her client needs.