she left me two voicemails and a text asking me to come in, saying "please, please just come in and we will work through this," telling me that this is my goal in therapy and this is my chance to work towards that goal, telling me that I'm not done with therapy and asking me what I need from her in order to feel ok about coming in tomorrow.
I guess I thought I posted this stuff, but I was pretty sick on Fri and Sat and evidently forgot. I wrote her this text in response to her voicemail (this was Fri):
Quote:
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I can't really come on Mon without some feeling of safety. Maybe a 3rd party needs to be there, I don't know. There's no way I can come in there & cope & your anger or frustration or defensiveness. Any of your emotions, really. I can barely cope with my own.
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and her reply:
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Please tell me what u want in a dear man - specifically telling me what u want in session and I will provide that. If youd like to bring a 3rd person, feel free.
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so this was my Dear Man (a DBT skill for interpersonal effectiveness, for those wondering):
Quote:
I am afraid to come talk to you face to face on Monday. Having had the experience in the past of facing your anger, frustration, and defensiveness, coping with that and then attempting to cope with my own emotions brought up by that, I am understandably hesitant to open myself up to that again. 11:46
Perhaps if there was some sort of agreement that we would deal with my emotions in my session and then you could deal with your own emotions with your team or whereever you'd like, then I would feel better about coming in. In order for me to continue therapy it has to feel like a safe place for me.
I'm not sure why but you seem to want me to continue therapy, so that would be the reinforce I suppose.  (sorry, that was sort of long after all. Also I don't have a 3rd party I would be comfortable bringing in.)
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and her reply to that was:
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Come in on Mon & I will use my emot reg skills & we will continue to make
progress on ur goal.
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__________________
She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went.
"It's easier to feel the sunlight without them," she said.
~Brian Andreas