i somehow always manage to do this. btw i am in college. im on summer break trying to get my portfolio together

there are days when i don't do hardly anything and i always convince myself in the moment ah its fine, its okay ill just play a game for a while

how do i scare myself straight? im really sick of this; even when i do have good days i feel out of control of the bad. they just keep hitting me like bombs or something. i DONT have time.

i keep reading on procrastination, keep trying to stay optimistic (though im afraid thats actually hurting me!) (though at the same time being optimistic is really helpful because i used to be a depressive it obviously worked go figure. how do you stay just pragmatic?)

giving myself a schedule doesn't work because i can never stick to it. i always start way later. like i'll start at 4 pm and work until 2 in the morning.
**** i just want to have a normal work schedule and be in control.

my goal btw i to be an animation rigger (person that puts animation controls on a game or animated character)