i want to work on my portfolio this summer thats all i care about. and even though i have all this desire to complete my (rigging) portfolio i just lose sight on many days. after days of working hard i slip back into this miserable ****ing unguided blob state. where all i want to do is play games and i dont remember about "overcoming inirtia" and "empowering thinking" i just forget. usually ill try to work on it for at least 2 hours on those days but its just such "blah" effort... if that makes any sense.

i feel like a phony. why do i do that if i care so much?

i tell myself to listen to music everyday.. (i dont know why its just my main motivation fuel) and there are days i dont because im afraid if i listen to it too much it will lose its impact. <--- a little off topic but relevant