I also feel like people are always judging me. It's so bad that I often spend my time at home locked in my room, because I don't feel comfortable around my own family. I am going to have to tell them that I've been diagnosed with bipolar at some point (should have told them a month ago when I got home from college) and just the thought of that conversation makes my heart race.

I also have a bit of a driving phobia. I didn't get my license until I was 18, because my state requires people under 18 to have 50 hrs worth of supervised practice, and I never wanted to drive. I am now 19, and I still hate it. I have to pick up my brother from summer school tomorrow, and I'm scared I'll drift out of my lane, sideswipe a semi truck, and die. Or rear end someone. Or be rear ended. (people around here like to tailgate). My neighborhood has a lot of little ponds, and I used to be afraid that I'd drive into one of them.

My fear often keeps me from taking risks, which in turn makes my life very boring and unsatisfying. Even when I'm hypomanic, I'm inhibited.

I apologize for the whiny post. I just really hate anxiety. : (