Rohag,

He is very understanding. Sometimes I think that I feel so guilty for not being like him, not being as selfless as he is. I also feel bad to let him shoulder this burden on his own. So, I let myself get sucked in.

We need another couple's counseling session. I guess I get overwhelmed with everything and decide that running away from it all would be my best bet. I don't know why I can't just tell him that I need alone time for my sanity and it doesn't mean that I don't love him. I just feel like he doesn't get it. I don't know. I can't seem to express exactly what the source of my angst is, although I know that a large portion comes from his aunt and her needs and our constant kowtowing to her. So I end up resenting him for us always seemingly dropping everything and running to do whatever she wants. It really makes me not want to be around him at times. It makes me very angry and I feel to much like a heel to tell him how angry it makes me because I don't understand what its like to lose a parent, much less both parents. I think I have an overblown ideal of my husband and I need to put it in check or I will never get past it.