Hi Stolly; Gee, you're story is heartbreaking. There's no magic bullet to ameliorate the pain. First things first. If your ex wants a divorce, give it to her. Find a date, any date, just to boost your self confidence. Hopefully the date you find will be understanding. Don't start crying about your dilemma, distract yourself by enjoying the dates company. In a few weeks, you'll feel better. Don't sit around feeling this pain, work on it to alleviate it. There are far worse off people in the world.