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Originally Posted by Jaybird57
I think Sunrise's post is right on the money. Creating a therapeutic environment that fits the individual client is definitely about finding the right distance and using the correct language. It's very possible, Protoform, that your T was too inviting and moved too close too soon.
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Yes, I think that's what happened. Thank you.
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It might have triggered attachment needs in you that felt unfamiliar and intensely uncomfortable. I know that in my own therapy, my T had to go V E R Y slowly with how close she got to me emotionally.
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That might have been it. In other words, my therapist was incompetent for failing to find the correct distance and language.
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I would go to my session with a need to connect with her but if the session created feelings of vulnerablity and intimacy (not talking sexual intimacy but emotional intimacy) I would immediately feel a need to push her away and re-assert my independence. I am a person with disorganized attachment. We are all preconditioned to want connection but because of brain chemisty, genetics and early environment some of us have a harder time with attachment/connection. If the T moves too close, it triggers a stress response in some of us and we quickly become emotionally overwhelmed.
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Yes, exactly. It was the T's fault for not doing things right. And the sad part is that to this day I still get treated like I am delusional
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It is truly a careful balancing act and the Therapist needs to be very well trained in her ability to gauge what her client needs.
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You get it. Most people just say I am delusional for thinking that the therapist was incompetent. It's almost like they think that I think that the the therapist "magically" made me feel attracted to her. NO, that's not what I think. The problem is that she did not gauge her approach according to my needs and ended up triggering a strong painful response on my part. She was the trigger, not the agent actually making me feel attracted to her.
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Originally Posted by Daisymay
I don't really know anything about you Protoform, but you mention having 'autistic' type personality traits and so finding understanding the complexities of relationships difficult. In the light of that, in my opinion, your reaction to the emotions therapy evoked in you makes perfect sense.
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Correct. Thank you.