oh Granite, IMHO i think you think about others so much and that feeling maybe overwhelming you? it is NOT your job to make everyone happy....
letting t in can be so scary. i have had the same t for so long and in some respects i haven't even scratched the surface of some topics because they are so painful.
i think t's know this about us. they are smart cookies, but don't always share everything.
i had a friend in group therapy that would never talk but she wrote everything down. it was how she controlled things.
i also, think that one day you will be talking because it will be your turn... then the skies the limit!!!!
until then, give yourself a break, you are okay. i like you !
ps i have faith in you!