I don't understand what you wrote about feeling the edges of your skin but I can really relate to how it feels to hold T's hand and feeling that it's wrong to feel good when we hold hands.

The first time T asked if I (it was actually "she", the child part) wanted to hold her hand, I had to think about it because I was very scared. I'd always fantasized about holding my Ts hands (with other Ts but they never let me) but I was afraid it would feel sexual. When I finally let myself hold her hand, it felt good, not sexual. But at times it felt wrong and bad, and kind of stupid. I felt ashamed of it feeling so good. I still do, but I can't stop myself from asking her now. I like the connected feeling of us holding hands. My T doesn't think it's wrong or bad; she comes right over to sit next to me when I want her to. Maybe you just need to get used to the touching, and discuss it more with your T. I think it's a good thing but I do understand how scary it was for you.