Well, you named yourself happycheeks, that is a positive self identification. So that is a good start. When I think of that name, I think of a smile that raises the cheeks and expresses pleasure within a facial expression.

But then you make another statement, you feel that you are destined to be alone. Well, that has truth in it that you are destined to be YOU, and individual alone, by yourself to care for yourself, and think for yourself.
At your age and when someone is in their teens, male or female, this feeling is much more prevalent. Your not a child anymore, your beyond that but your really not fully adult either. But you are starting to realize that you have changed and you are now going to be more responsible for your own future. And that is scary and all teenagers feel, angry, confused, tired, pressured, frightened, and even depressed.

The other fact that teenagers don't really understand is what nature is doing inside your body. During the teen years the body begins to change and it is now being affected by hormones. These hormones are slowly changing not only the biological state of the body itself, but also the psychological state of the brain. And many of the mood swings are due to this gradual change as a new awareness begins to take place.

What is really happening is that nature is pushing the body towards a time when it is making ready the most desirable time for reproduction. So during this process the body does experience a different kind of growth period. It is no longer about just physical growth as in early childhood, it is growth in body and hormones and different brain functions and sensories that are becoming more aware of what should take place, next in nature.

When madisgram talks about struggling with shirts not fitting and tearing them up and even those moments of rage, what she was really talking about is how she was in a period where she was beginning to assess her own body features and trying to understand this change. She wasn't ready for this and it was upsetting her and she had trouble adjusting to it. This is so very common in both sexes. But it is also natures trick that forces us to recognize this change and now that we have mirrors, we can visually see if we are ready for a perspective mate. We dont really consciously know this though. It is known as the trick of nature.

It is such a troubling time as teens are also expected to learn in a greater complicated capacity and there is pressure to not only learn but to perform on social levels. And within this time period teens struggle because they don't really know who they are or what they are going to be. Nature doesn't think about that, early man didn't think about that, nature is about survival and reproduction. But humans push that around and now add in many other things that nature was not really designed to consider. So ofcourse there is a struggle with social capability, TEENS DO NOT REALLY KNOW WHO THEY ARE YET, THEY ARE EXPERIMENTING WITH INTERACTIONS.

We also have many outside stimulationS that tell teens what is now acceptable and what to desire, what image is prefered and how it should now be presented. And there are many different kinds of careers and pressures to try to decide what direction should be taken and this is done as teens are also trying to learn, follow a structured daily learning time period, learning specifications, being responsible for what is learned, being analyzed on what is learned and capicity to use that new knowledge and,
oh, meanwhile nature is just changing that body. And lets not forget that it is known that teens are the ones that purchase the most and so they are TARGETED TO BUY AN ACCEPTABLE LOOK that MASSAGES THAT TRICK OF NATURE. Oh, it is really pretty mean and abusive in my opinion but that is the marketplace, figure out where the money is and promote a desire for purchase.

I certainly cannot blame one for grabbing a stick in anger can you?

The important thing to remember is that YOU are going to have to understand that YOU are not really going to figure it all out or even have all the answers ANY TIME SOON. So ease up on yourself and think about the fact that YOU ARE TRUELY NOT ALONE IN YOUR PERSONAL STRUGGLE WITH ALL THESE EMOTIONS. And if you can do that, the depression will ease up as you will GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK and see that you are in fact overwhelmed. But you can only move at your own pace and THERE IS NO RUSH, so, yes, go for those walks and think about what is going on and take time out for yourself to RELAX and ADJUST to what is really happening. And sometimes go take a nap and try to create a quiet atmosphere to do just that. And I don't even think that it is unreasonable to take a personal day from school to take time out and regroup.

Summer is here, ease up and remember, you are only going to be in your teens for just a while and your stability will change, this is not a life sentence. It will only be a life sentense if you think that this is going to be the way the rest of your life is going to be. Give yourself a chance to learn and then SLOWLY apply that knowledge to find the person called YOU. And that is going to take place after college as well, college is just another continued learning experience.
Don't think that you HAVE TO KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS, AND SOCIAL ABILITIES ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. You are only just beginning to even think about WHO YOU ARE. Please don't be so hard on yourself EASE UP.

Open Eyes