Hey psych central fam, How is everyone today?

I know i haven't post in awhile but i need some adivce. I just don't know what to do anymore. My soul is tired. I return to work today. People have been looking at me funny. I don't know if it is because i took off for my bestie's birthday or that my hair is done in kinky twist (which means its braided). They look at me as if i committed it a sin or something. I don't know why i care but it really affect me deep down in my soul. I just don't feel appreciate, yall. I just feel invisable until i do something negative or not getting my paperwork done on time. They are talking around me as if i am not even in the room with them. I just dont understand. I feel sooo lost. On top of that, i am trying not to worry about paying bills, but i can not help it. It my fault, i got to fix it some kind of way. I just been going thru so much internally, it is ridculous. i just want to pull out my hair! My stomach turns becuase i have this unease and anxious feeling. Don't no one care. So the blank should i? I also believe that i hurt my parnets feelings because i took a trip to celebrate my friend's birthday and didn't come back til after father's day. I am sooo stuipd. i am soo upset with myself, i just don't know. My soul is tired of this fight. Is there a reason to keep on going? When you still disappoint so many people because u are trying to grow as an individual or stand own ur own. Will things get better? or keep going down and down into the bottomless pit of sorrow and depression and anxiety?
God bless