Got done with a round of panic attacks about 2 weeks ago. The majority of the stress has left. I'm getting married in 16 days to one of the most caring, sensitive and best guys I've ever known. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

The closer our wedding date is, the more anxious I feel. At this point, I just want to call off the wedding. I never liked being the center of attention. I get highly nervous about it. I hate it. I feel like I am about to experience another round of panic attacks. Just the thought of that makes me more anxious.

On top of that, I was told by my parents to invite 3 sisters that I don't trust. At this point, I only get along with my baby sister. She only gets along with me. My other three sisters have back stabbed the two of us (my baby sister and I) and have created a lot of undue stress. I really don't want to see them. However, to save us from a HUGE family fight, I invited them...against my best judgement. I don't want anything to do with them. I don't trust them. I don't want to see them. It's sad, but when one of them accuses your BF of being a pedophile and having illegal stuff on his computer and threatens to turn him into the police over a fake accusation and another sister backs her up knowing it's a false accusation... The third sister... I could write a book about the stuff she has done to me and how she pretends it's okay. She's the reason I have trust issues. While I don't want them to be there, I was forced to invite them to avoid a huge family fight. At this point, I don't know what is worse...

I don't want to do anything irrational. I know that at the end, with us living together, it's just another piece of paper confirming that we are legally insane (just a joke). I just cannot help to feel anxious. He's a great guy. I don't think my problem is him. I think it's the wedding itself. I just don't know what to do...other than going back to bed until after the wedding... hiding under the covers might be my easiest bet.

--Beth

PS: Please don't tell me to relax... I've been trying that. The more and more people tell me to relax, the worse I feel. Don't know why. Cannot figure it out.