On the news the other day i caugh a glimps of the story, someone had been murdered in a park quite local to me and the suspect for the murder is very possibly one of my mums ex's, all the information given abot the man points to it being him. they were together on and of for a couple of years and out of my mums many many many many relationships (well if you would call them relationships,) he was the only one who made an effort with me, i was 6/7 when i was introduced to him and i spent alot of time with him, he would take me for days out and he took me fishing for the first time, my mum and grandma never did anythink like this with me, it was the closest to feeling close to a 'parental figure' i had ever felt before as my mum was never there as i was growning up sometimes phsically when she felt like it that is, never once emotoionally, she would just dump me on my grandparents when she felt like it, i was never good enough in her eyes from being a very little girl. i have never met my father before according to my metally ill mother he didnt want to know me.

when i watched this news report it really hit a nerve. as im getting older more and more pieced of my past are lies and it just bothered me to think that this father like figure i once looked upto that old me he was going to adopt me and that he would be my dad, could now be a cold blooded killer. everyone thinks im over reacting to feel this way, yeah i know i dont know for sure but he was in with that kind of crowd and its such a small comunity so its very likley. am i just way to sensitive or something?