i wanted to post here ... i hope i dont get into trouble -- i did blog this and know that probably should go somewhere over in the creative board .... if this causes a problem please so advise and i will transfer to better place
Here goes:

contradiction of self

Blantantly obvious this contradiction of self, reflects so intensely blind-siding health

Persist in this public life of deception or YIELD to the existence of my vile conception?

I know what I am right down to the core, to hear otherwise is rather a bore.

More than a bore when people repeat, only lends proof of my absolute deceit.

To the extent this contradiction exists, is the extent that confusion persists.

This plight is arduous and turmoil life draining ,
confusion abounds amid accusation of feigning.

Spinning........... spinning and whirling all about is the diffusion of disoreintating doubt.

Confusion consumes me and confusion seives thru me.

Losing thoughts before grabbing hold, an endless battle with an invisible foe.

Here is the irony of this self-induced predicament-- I'm consumed by thoughts even as they hit the pavement.

Light and floaty and hovering in air, heavy and drowning in a sea of despair.

peace out,
z