It can be painful when your partner will not change or go get help with you. I know. I don't think I've had a single partner in my life who has been willing to do that---they have all looked at me as the one with the problem only.

Marriages are about BOTH partners not just the one.

I read "The Courage to Heal" and have encouraged my husband to read the chapter devoted to partners.

partners have their own issues.

Many partners are afraid to see what is up with them.

Also, in general, many people like to point the finger at the other person, the survivor.

But we all have our problems and it takes a lot of work and courage for us to all see that and deal with it.

I wish you luck.

I hope things are better.

Billi