Another thought is that I love love love it when he leaves the house. I feel like I am totally by myself and can let everything hang out and I can be my most authentic self. I don't know why I don't want to be that when he is here. I feel like when he is gone, I am free to do, eat, watch whatever I want to. Which in reality, I am have that freedom anytime. It is just knowing that that other person is in the next room that keeps me from feeling that freedom. Freedom to do silly stuff like eat a huge bad of popcorn or whatever. I guess I have myself feeling like I am judged. But why? so silly..