{{{{{{{{{Rhapsody}}}}}}}}}}}} I can only imagine what you did, but I can't imagine anything THAT bad.

Are you under a therapist's care?? You say you are in the process of healing but I'm thinking not. You're too involved in trying to help your husband with things that have wounded YOU. A wound won't heal properly when you keep picking at the scab and making yourself bleed all over again.

Rhapsody, you've hear how passangers on an air liner are instructing in case of an emergency, right? You put the oxygen on YOURSELF FIRST, then you can help others. If not, then YOU will be rendered helpless first.

As I've told you before, I've been where you are now. You MUST take care of YOU FIRST! YOU, RHAPSODY, cannot help your husband with his problems!