Thanks for replying everyone. I've been diagnosed BP II for 3 years now. Before then it'd always been assumed that I'd had MDD (including by me). The last time I was on antidepressants, after about a year of non-response my psychiatrist asked about hypomania, and family history and such.

I couldn't get over the 'euphoria' thing for some time. I found out just then that mom was schizoaffective and I also found out that 'irritable' worked instead of mania it made a little more sense to me.

So here I am, BP II. I'm in treatment and I'm taking lithium and lamictal. I've 'never' had a manic episode. The depression is much better. I wouldn't say I'm all that much more functional, but I feel better. Here's this though; One of the signs of mania is 'reckless behavior,' and I assume that means drugs, or dangerous sex, or whatever; nothing I've ever done. Then I start remembering things.

• I went out bought a car on a whim one afternoon. I'd dropped my then BP I spouse off to a therapy session. I drove to a car dealer and bought a sports car. (Now that is irony.)
• I drove said sports car as it should be driven; fast, very very fast.
• Got married to said spouse above because her family had a fit over our living together - so we got married, a few days later.
• I left said spouse on a whim. I just walked out the door one day. Didn't take anything with me, say goodbye, didn't have a plan where I would go. I tried to sleep in said sports car.
• Lived in a no pet apartment. went to pet show, bought show cat (think expensive), took cat home, 2 days later had to give cat away.
• Some time before I was diagnosed BP my then therapist would have to send me out to eat because I didn't, or wouldn't eat on my own.
• Had my car die in the middle of the street. I just got out and continued on my way on foot.
• Drove someone off the road one fine day. (I quit driving for a year after this one.)
• Me, a wall-flower, took a job as a door-to-door salesperson, out of town, because I thought that God would think it a good idea (at 17) (And as for risky behavior that job almost killed me twice.)

There's more, but I don't think I'll post them. If mania is just psychosis, then no problem, yes? Impaired functioning? I've had that a long time, so it can't be just for mania. Reckless behavior? That list sounds pretty 'manicy' if you know what I mean. Some of the ones I didn't include were more out there than those on the list. The acts weren't all at the same time, like within 2 week period or something. Just bursts of craziness. And none of them were hospitalizable, maybe.

So I'm shaking writing this. Should I Change meds? Increase meds? panic? I'm leaning toward the latter. If the drugs and treatment for mania/hypomania are the same where am I headed? I've been noticing more and more hypomanic moods recently and I never knew how close to the edge I've danced in the past and it's like I'm looking over the cliff all of a sudden.