Have you talked to your T about sharing your feelings with your husband?
I dont think it has anything to do with not loving him, you are just having a very hard time with the intimacy of marriage, and even with intamacy period.

This is not unusual for someone who has been abused at one time. And I think that is in your past if my memory serves me correctly. And if so, it does leave scars, deep ones that are very hard to overcome. And it is not fair to your husband or you to pretend. Because if you do that you are not enjoying his act of love and he wont understand if he doesn't know about it. If he loves you he wants to make love to you, he isn't taking from you as perhaps was done in your past. And that is what you don't know how to do. And no it isn't easy.

I think that what you feel is that being intimate is a job or you are just an object and because you think of it that way you dont accept it or even enjoy it at all. But you have probably been afraid to say it as you feel it is just so hard that your husband wont understand.

But before you make up your mind, you need to talk about it. This man is good to you and I am sure he tries. Have you talked to him? Does he even know your history? Healthy love is a lot more than sex.

Just a thought,

Open Eyes