I emailed my T twice already. The first time I said that I hated her and hated the session. I just emailed again after I meditated and told her I felt cut off from her. I said I wanted to do EMDR but she invalidated me by something she said early in the session. I KNOW she's right about it but I couldn't help the way I felt. She said "we've spent so much time talking about your feelings for me that we haven't had time for anything else." That hurt me! Talking about me in the picture with her and my child part was important, not "nothing." I didn't tell her that in the email though.

rainbow_rose, I'm sorry you're feeling like I do. It helps to know I'm not alone.

granite, everything you say is true except I can't get a handle on whether it was terrifying or not. If I did, I would have put a trigger symbol on my thread. I'm afraid of fire and I know my brother teased me with matches, so it must be true. It's also true that my T cares and yes, she's definitely the opposite of my former T. Thank you.

farmergirl, what can I say? My T is like a drug for me so it's very hard to set that aside though I can see it's why I'm struggling so much.

zoo, your words ring true for me. I'm sorry you're in such pain too.

WePow, I've missed you lately. Yes, getting to the roots of my hurt. It's what I want to do but it's what I fight not to do. What a dilemma, isn't it!

poetgirl, my brain knows it, but my heart doesn't.