My Support Forums - View Single Post

Evening · Jun 22, 2011, 05:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by with or without you

yeah, I'm in the same boat as you except I'm 29. I have felt physically ready for a very long time but not emotionally ready. Like you, I am not in this V-status situation for religious reasons, nor am I a prude. It sucks having this stupid "secret" (that's what I call it, anyway.)

There is a difference between being physically ready and emotionally ready. Just because you think about it, doesn't mean you have to do it. I was having dinner with a friend last night and he is a virgin too, he's 21. His step sister announced it to me and another person a few months ago, which isn't really her business to do. I defended him by saying 'yeah me too', and when I said I don't take any crap in regards to that (not at her but in general as we were discussing it) she said 'yeah you don't seem like the sort of person who would'.
My friend being a guy deals with even more ridicule that you or I would, and again he's not religious, it's just his choice because he's looking for a decent relationship. The way people talk about guys who are virgins gives this vibe they are losers or pathetic. But he's a decent guy.
I do think that a lot of people who make a big deal out of virgins are perhaps envious? I know a few people who are rather promiscuous, their sex life isn't exactly enviable. Maybe they enjoy the sex, but the reputation THEY get is worse than the reputation WE get. I mean, most people would rather have a reputation as a virgin than a reputation as a slut.

If you like a guy, knowing how respectable he is before having a relationship with him will mean you won’t get caught in that trap later in the relationship of ‘surprise! You aren’t getting any!’. A decent guy will respect you for your morals, and maybe even like you more for it. Getting into a relationship and THEN finding out he’s going to hit the road if he doesn’t getting any might put you off relationships a bit out of fear of nobody wanting to be with you unless you put out.

I understand that it’s hard to share certain things with someone, especially if you aren’t good with communicating. Can I ask if you know WHY you find it difficult? Is it a fear of being judged, or being used to keeping things to yourself, or because you’ve been attacked for your views/opinions?