Has anyone experienced this? I live in the world of numb most of the time. Then......... I feel an urge to buy something and the urge builds up. Used to be I could afford to do this, not now. I used to buy and sell my car very frequently or it could be tied to something else, but is always an object.

What would happen is once I bought the object I obsessed over, I felt immediate relief, a rush. Then the feeling inside (which I can't identify) slowly fades, but I feel something inside of me building up again and the only way to relieve this feeling is to get rid of the object I just bought. I feel the rush and relief that the object is gone, only to find myself obsessing over buying something new again and it builds until I buy it only to have to get rid of it as soon as something inside of me builds up.

Here are some examples................... I bought an expensive piano. I always wanted to learn piano and looked into lessons and started to have a difficult time finding piano teachers that would teach a beginner adult. So, I tried to learn by myself which became frustrating. Then all of a sudden, one day I couldn't stand the piano in my home, I couldn't even look at it. There was a hugh emotion tied to this piano which I could not identify but I had to get it out of my home. I don't know what the trigger was. So, I advertised and finally sold it for 1/10th of the price I paid for it. Other things like this that I spent alot of money on, I gave away just to get rid of it. Now, when I look back on the piano, I feel shocked that I no longer have this piano and why did I get rid of it, wishing I still had it.

These activities are making me nuts. Anyone experience anything vaguely similar to this?