Relax...I have done groups for people that deal with limiting beliefs, secrets, and things that hold people back. In closed-eye processing, the question is asked, How many guys in this room had a sexual experience with a guy as children?. At least 85% hands are raised as a disclosure, and commonly, this is the first time there was even an acknowledgement. It means nothing in relation to sexual idenity. Identity confusion is common at 21 anyway, who am I, who do I relate to, what can I achieve, who is in my corner. I suggest a counselor and/or a life coach to help you smooth out these common wrinkles.
Quote:
Originally Posted by burtonsb21
Hey everyone,
This is my first time writing about this so bare with me please.I am a 21 year old male.In the past few days i finally admitted to being sexually molested as a little boy between 2nd and 4th grade by my neighbor(male also) who was my best friend at the time on several occassions. He mad me do things that i never want to do ever. Having finally opened up about this, it has caused me to mentally break down. Every moment of every day i am always questioning who i really am as if who i am is not good enough. Through out my life i have always had trouble trusting people and yet to this day i still have trouble doing that. I havent been able to hold a relationship with my previous girlfriends, and it has caused me to doubt myself as a man. In return this feeling causes me to have zero to very low confidence, self-esteem, and so on.
I have dealt with depression throughout many points in my life and i have used alcohol and drugs in order to deal with the pain. I feel as if my world is coming down crashing on top of me and it is too much for me to handle. i dont know what to think of anything anymore and it has even caused me to doubt my sexual orientation which i have never had any doubt about until recently when the pain of the abuse started to come back. Having been abused by a male it causes me to doubt my sexual orientation even though i know i didnt know better at the time, but it is always giving me anxiety attacks.
I have trouble sleeping, eating, and i have nightmares at times. I cry myself to sleep on numerous occassions. My stomach is always hurting as if i have to throw up and my back is constanstly hurting is i havent stretched in weeks. At this point in my life I am completely lost and dont know how to deal with this trauma.
I dont know what im really suppose to write on this, but if anybody has been through something similar like this i would love to hear back from you guys. Any help is much appreciated.
Thank you
|