Your response makes a lot of sense. We can't change anyone, they are who they are.

The difficulty for me is, that this is a new daughter I've encountered. It's frightening to me to meet this new side after 28 years of living closely together, I never ever, imagined she could be so unkind and nasty, I'd never seen that in her before. It's unsettling to think I never really knew her! and that there's no clear reason for this change, but, apparently this is who she is now and I do have to accept that I can't change the new persona, it only causes more grief, but sadly I've totally lost trust in her and that hurts me.

But I won't tolerate being mistreated again, I will speak up if it's a minor incident and if it's a major incident that she denies, I'll walk, because I won't permit anyone to hurt me so bad that I lose my confidence, trust and sense of dignity and no child is entitled to the love and support of their parent if they are trying to tear them down, and unfortunately most children believe they should be loved 'unconditionally' by their parents, regardless of their behaviour towards them.

I try not to think or dwell on it too much and get on with building supportive friendships which are far more important to me as I age, because they are the people who will be there for me, not my daughter.

I have forgiven her, but I haven't forgotten and I don't expect the usual care and loyalty that I used to expect, because she doesn't have that and I can't be dissappointed but it's sad that we don't have the rich relationship of extended family, such is life huh.