Having a real hard time. he makes me second guess my actions all the time. Life is too short to keep going through this. since the no contact warning he has emailed me four times basically to tell me he can't believe I'm throwing what we have all away! he admits to doing wrong but not until it is too late.he has called me crying on voice mail ..I'm going crazy over here. The one thing that bothers me is he left yahoo message telling me he would rather see one of us dead then to go through this scares the heck out of me. I can't go back to him out of fear or because he is hurting. I can write a book with only these 5 words ...It's not going to work..to him he seen our relationship very different then I did. Love should never be this hard.he is giving me the guilt trip of what will he tell his parents? his mother has been apart of our problem for 11 years grrrrrrrr ....I did call his sister today ( which by the way, I have never been close too ) I told her to keep a watch for him and that I was worried about him.....praying things will work out for the best....