My T is absolutely, without a doubt exhibiting therapy interfering behavior as defined by DBT in regards to our relationship. In Linehan's book she talks a lot about the therapeutic relationship and the ways in which this is challenging for people with BPD in particular. She lays out the ways in which, as far as DBT is concerned, the T should and should not interact with the client. She specifically states, for example, that the T should allow phone calls for the purpose of relationship repair because if the repair is not made there may not BE another session in which to address it.

There are lists of TIB on the part of the client and on the part of the T. And I am fully willing to admit that I have and still do some of those behaviors. My T, however, is engaging in almost every kind of TIB that Linehan addresses in her book, with the exception of egregious ethical violations like borrowing money from clients or having a sexual relationship, that kind of stuff. From my POV, my T is walking on the razor's edge between being an jerk and out-and-out ethics violations, but there is no doubt that she she is engaging in therapy interfering behavior.

I wish this could all be me. Do you see that? If this could all be me just being me, just being Zoo, just being BPD, that would give me hope. If it's all me then I can count on T. If T is being unstable and inconsistent, though, then who do I count on? She is supposed to be shining a light in the dark for me. Instead it's like we're both just stumbling around and doing a lot of stepping on each other's toes in the process.