Hi lyib... I'm pretty sure it's your decision to go to therapy, right? And I think you're being really strong to stick with it... and it's really important to get help. I'm really admiring what you wrote in your op... you're being so honest and self aware about when you're honest and when you aren't and why it's hard... it sounds like you're almost there to being able to talk about whatever you need to talk about. Working on slowing it down sounded like a good idea. Maybe telling her/showing her stuff you wrote here if you think it would help. I'm glad you have a t you like. It sounds like she cares about you. Hope I'm making sense and good luck