I believe my fetish for BDSM, especially the bondage and being dominated part comes from the relief of not having to be in control and the enjoyment I find in being controlled or restrained. I think it goes back to I had to be in control and in charge a lot, from a very young age, and I feel this lack of me, myself being taken care of, something that the playing submissive to a dominant fufills for me. As for the bondage and the fact I enjoy some pain, I don't know the answer to that. Same way my bf doesn't know the exact answer to why he enjoys giving out pain, but his reasons for being a dominant are the reverse of mine, he likes to feel in control and care for another in that role. I hope this helps!