I am very glad you discussed it with your T. Any relationship has fears especially after that honeymoon stage. But this is very common and there are definitely moments of fear that a partner may just decide to give up the relationship. But this is why it is very important to build on the moments that do not involve intimacy.
Because those are the moments that will eventually allow intimacy to be changed.

I think that one of the things that would be helpful for your relationship is to have a discussion with your husband about making efforts to take time out to cuddle and get closer (without) the end result becoming a sexual event. Because if you can start a safe nonsexual intmate process it will serve not only as a safe place for both of you to show affection with no activities that may feel you are just doing or being invaded. It would just be a safe way of companionship and getting closer in a safe way for you, encouraging both of you to feel safe in just showing care and affection.

So what that would mean it that you both could agree on spending an evening together and being together as a couple and friends. Having a nice dinner and maybe a movie holding hands and allowing to be close in a safe way for you. That is one part that is missing for you and that feeling of being pressured to do something that you are NOT comfortable with is what is hard on you. So you have to find that way of appreciating each other without that feeling of this means this and if this doesn't happen I cant enjoy love. Love is not just this Geez, and that is what the two of you need to build on, that is what really lasts Geez, that is what healthy love is.

That would be a starting point for you that I really feel would be benificial. And many women will say that they wish there was a lot more cuddling without that goal. If older men just realized this they could continue to enjoy a partnership without feeling inadaquate as that is actually the most important part of the process to the woman.

Most men decline in their ability to perform sexually and they feel so inadaquate. They often don't truely realize that perhaps they were inadaqate before and just didn't realize it. It is the cuddling that women enjoy the most.

But for you it would be so theraputic to free you up to showing affection without having any strings attached and it would bring you closer and bond you as a couple better. Try talking to your husband about that, perhaps just having cuddle nights.

Open Eyes