I almost feel like a hypocrite for even thinking about answering your post, because when I feel like that, I don't wait to post about it or talk to someone or anything. When I feel like that, I can't imagine caring about any possible reasons not to cut (though I'll do it someplace hidden, and never very extreme). So you are doing good to post about these thoughts, feelings, and urges you are having. Especially, to recognize where they are coming from and what they mean.

Your little girl really needs to be heard. There is more than one way for her to be heard. Your post is one of them. Does she feel better now at all? Even a little bit? If she is screaming, is there a place where you can go and let her scream out loud until she is satisfied? Sometimes I scream while I'm driving down the freeway. I don't think anybody can hear me over all the engine noise, and if they can, they don't know me anyway, so it doesn't matter. I didn't think that I could scream, but I guess I can.

Of course, there is always the pros and cons thing. You can write out the reasons for and against cutting, and also the pros and cons for doing something else instead. Don't let yourself off with "there aren't any pros to cutting." If there weren't, you wouldn't be thinking about it and none of us would ever do it. The pros can be a great hint to help figure out what you need that it doesn't seem like you can get any other way. Just remember that there are also reasons that you haven't done it in 8 or 9 years, and that there are other things you can do instead.

Take care of yourself and that little girl in you. You both deserve to be heard, and to be safe.