I dont believe I have a dissociative disorder. I daydream a lot and sometimes I do lose track of things..perhaps extremely mild. But I dont really dissociate. But im posting here..because maybe this might be connected to some kind of dissociation or something

I just figure here is the place I can figure out something.
Every couple of months...it is as if I become a whole different person, and I have no control over it. Its very scary for me and I never know when its coming. It takes over my life.

For a few months or weeks, I will become a religious nut, I will be a Christian go to church and all that...then few months later..my new obsession is being a nurse. then all of a sudden for a few months im completely depressed and burdened. Then for a few months Im 10 years old. I want to wear little pigtails and be a child or a baby. Then next few months Im n adult and my past doesnt affect me and Im okay. then the next few months I find myself acting like an old lady, trying to dress modestly wishing I was in 1940's. Then in week or months ill feel like I want to do something bad like drugs or just run away or I dont know!

And the thing is, that these things done go away. Its like they cycle every few months..and sometimes Ill get a new "thing" but usually it cycles between..old lady, 10 year old, religious nut, secular whoever, body counscious eating disordered.

I dont know how to get rid of these cycles in my life, I dont know who I am I change so much all the time. Its really scary and I cant control it. Ill throw things out that later I wish I had..I make friends with people which later ill dislike or want no contact with. Ill make big decisions ...then later on ill be like.. WAIT I cant do that!!! does anybody at all relate? I tried to ask in "ask a therapist" but all he did was tell me I was young and exploring . THIS DOESNT FEEL LIKE EXPLORING. this feels like im suddenly forced into something else and I become someone or something esle. I dont know!